I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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