ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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