she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
