I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
