I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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