i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
