did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
