gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
