Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
