Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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