Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
