my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
