Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
