he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
