She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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