But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
