shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
