1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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