so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
