if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
