Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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