i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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