i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
