all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
