Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
