oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
