You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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