i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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