So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
