I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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