I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
