this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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