we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
