Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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