laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
