Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
