Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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