I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
