FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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