Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
