Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So much rum. So many feels.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
