i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
