Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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