so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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