yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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