I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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