I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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