Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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