Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
