Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
