Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
