the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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